4. Another Co-Worker; Or: A Pathology of Poverty

The poor, or maybe I should say those speaking on their behalves, deny the existence of a pathology of poverty. Maybe it’s the word pathological. But question is: Is there something, something genetic that dooms people poverty? Or maybe that isn’t the question. Maybe the question is more whether poverty makes one crazy-nuts. (Notwithstanding that it’s certainly a healthy state to live in.)

Look:

We employ a file clerk. He is quite slow-witted but.... He has a son who, of course, lives with the mother. The boy is thirteen and, like the father, has a very sweet disposition. And is brighter than the dad (not that that is difficult).

When the clerk brings the son to the office, you can see a wonderful bond, the father’s love for his son is clear.

And then one recent Friday, the clerk doesn’t show up.

Because the boy had just been busted. For stabbing a kid like half his size with a pocket knife, in school. (You know, a New York City public school. They were once famed for the high academic qualities. Now it’s known for it’s metal detectors. Not that it worked this time. But we won’t address the quality, shall we say, of the foot soldiers in the modern security industry.)

At risk of addressing the obvious, how does this happen? Massive genetic (inbred) stupidity? Cultural lack of sense? (I mean what could this kid have done to warrant getting stabbed?)

Or a pathology of poverty?

3. A Former Employee Seems to have a Dispute with His Former Employer; an Exercise in the Ability to Resolve Matters Maturely

Not:

And they're off!

It starts with a professional request for payment letter..... [Names have been changed to protect the innocent i.e. me!}

From: psychokilla
To: Dick Hertz
Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 1:24 PM
Subject: Outstanding Invoices on Loosis Fingers Matter

Dear Dick Hertz,

Attached are my two outstanding invoices. On February 2, 2006, you told me in Boris's presence that they would be paid by the following Wednesday, February 7, once the money you received on the Elvis Jackson case cleared.. On February 7, you had Guadalupe tell me that they would be paid on February 9. On February 9, she told me that you told her to tell me they would be paid on February 13. On February 13, she told me that you once again told her not to pay me.

When I agreed to work on the Loosis Fingers case back in December, the deal that Boris made with me was for you to pay me $350 per day. After rendering my first invoice, you objected to the amount and I agreed to accept $300 per day. Upon presentation of my second invoice for $1,500, you cursed and screamed at me and then you delayed payment for approximately 1 month, but I came back to work when Boris called and assured me that not only would I be paid, but you wanted to change the rate of payment to $30.00 per hour. Incidentally, Boris was gentleman enough to pay my invoice for the work during the trial on February 2, the day it concluded.

At this point, I have no expectation that you will ever voluntarily pay me. You have never objected to the amounts of the invoices and as far as I am concerned, they now constitute an account stated. This letter shall, therefore, constitute my demand for payment in full of both of the outstanding invoices in the total amount of $3, 765.00. In the event I do not receive it on or before the close of business on Friday, February 23, 2007, I will have no other alternative but to bring a lawsuit against you, which I really find to be a distasteful and despicable alternative.

I trust that you will not make this necessary.

George W. Bush, Jr.

Which elicits a professional response... well, actually, things start descending into the gutter and thence -- the well, see for yourself how professionals work things out in a professional manner....

From: Dick Hertz <>
Date: Feb 21, 2007 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: Outstanding Invoices on Loosis Fingers Matter
To: psychokilla

Why did Mr O'Malley say I spoke badly about him or his case ? Did you intentionally interfere with our contractual relationship with that big mouth of yours.? Why did you sign for me when he borowed 50k on his file after he/ you intentionally misrepresented that his case was a labor law case ?. You did not have my permission to sign for the firm. Only I and Neil had that right.......... I welcome the opportunity to litigate any and all outstanding issues. You are a troublemaker and always have been one. You stabbed me in the back repeatedly when you worked for me and continue to do so..Do not step foot in my office and/or call ....................\


From: George W. Bush, Jr.
Date: Feb 21, 2007 7:37 PM
Subject: Re: Outstanding Invoices on Loosis Fingers Matter
To: "Dick Hertz"

obviously you've conveiently forgotten how in the hallway of the federal courthouse on 2/2/07, you made a point of telling me how he allegedly screwed up his case with multiple stories and how when I asked if I should speak to him about it, you blessed it.

I have done nothing to interfere with your contractual relations, as I am sure Seamus and Boris will testify, if you really want to make an issue of it. I told you over a year ago when Seamus complained about you and said he had no faith in you and I convinced him to stick with you and then you assured him that Boris would be trying his case. How could I not tell him that you told me he had testified to three different versions of how the accident happened when you gave me express permission to do so?

Why don't you just keep your word for once and pay me what you owe me because I have earned every penny of it. I'm sure that Boris will confirm that when he testifies. The advantage to you is that you'll never have to hear from me again. Do you really relish the alternative?

Perhaps for once you should think before you speak or write -- I'm no longer inclined to suffer your abuse or your half-baked excuses for why you consistently act the way you do.

No rsvp is required or desired.

From: psychokilla
Subject: P.S.
Date: February 21, 2007 9:08:37 PM EST
To: Dick Hertz

oops - I left something out!

Since I'm a firm believer in a fair fight, would you prefer me to retain [An Attorney Acquaintance], [A Screwed Trial Attorney/Tenant], [An Attorney-Tenant] or [A Forwarding Attorney] -- or someone else of your choosing. Your wish may well be my command.

And for your further consideration, the following:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

From: psychokilla
Subject: Fwd: Outstanding Invoices on Loosis Fingers Matter
Date: February 21, 2007 11:59:31 PM EST
To: N. Innocent Bystander

clever, right?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Dick Hertz
Date: Feb 21, 2007 11:29 PM
Subject: Re: Outstanding Invoices on Loosis Fingers Matter
To: psychokilla

I regret the day I hired you.......................

From: psychokilla
Subject: Re: Outstanding Invoices on Loosis Fingers Matter
Date: February 22, 2007 12:12:39 AM EST
To: Dick Hertz

brilliant, clever, entirely appropriate, responsive, and to the point. your rapier-like wit never ceases to amaze me. you might try "dictionary.com" for "rapier"; wit, in your case, is not susceptible of rational definition.

enjoy your holiday -- a picture postcard in response might be nice.

From: psychokilla
Subject: Re: P.S.
Date: February 22, 2007 12:41:30 AM EST
To: Dick Hertz

you forgot to select my lawyer -- would you like the address of the courthouse?

On 2/21/07, Dick Hertz <> wrote:
I will see you in court....

And others comment....

First, from someone addled by too much sun on the beaches of Sydney....

From: Someone Who's Blood is Rushing to her Head from Living in the Southern Hemisphere where Everyone's Upside-Down
Subject: Re: Outstanding Invoices on Loosis Fingers Matter
Date: February 21, 2007 9:40:57 PM EST
To: N. Innocent Bystander

Ma[n], you must spend so much of your time laughing!

Response: Not at all... nothing funny about it all when one's in the center of it....

And then there's this collateral correspondence:

Date:
Wed, 21 Feb 2007 17:32:39 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Wanta Lickmee" Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Remember me? I'm Ready!!!
To:
Dick Hertz-Bad
tell me what you want in return.

WL

Date:
Wed, 21 Feb 2007 18:43:51 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Wanta Lickmee" Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
remember me? let's do it now.
To:
Dick Hertz-Bad
If you're man enough, I would be willing to give you a try -- only if what you want in return turns me on. Go for it.

signed,

I Wanta so bad

Link.

2. Miss December 2007

Now let's move on, as they say, from that pathological story with which we started thi blog.

(Full disclosure requirement: Stories herein must involve a New York City resident. Thank God I don't know whether the young woman written up in the prior post is in fact a native. I merely assume she is and my male intuition tells me she is.

(On the other hand, I may show me mercy and allow in echt New York stories whether or not residents are even included. You know, location and vibe are enough.... But if I did that, I'd direct you all to this site -- it would be mandatory reading!)

Anyway:

Ladies and gentlemen -- I give you (mostly the latter, I'm sure) Sin City's Miss December 2007.

And the story, as it were: We have a co-worker in the office that works part time at a men's entertainment club in the Bronx. They did a 2007 calendar and my co-worker modeled. And, I am advised, she's normally employed there as a waitress, not in, you know (I wouldn't) entertainment).

1. Love Found on the Subway

That there are 8,000,00 stories in the Naked City of course doesn't mean one, like, needs to become familiar with each. Some are just, you know, too yucky....

So I'm subwaying up to Grand Central from work Tues. evening. Get to grab a seat on one of them two-person seats next to a 20-something woman reading an esoteric-looking novel -- very collegiate, grad student looking....

Train takes a curve a little fast so that the girl slides into me with a little bump: absolute nothing, you know, nothing to freak over.

And that's followed by a little girly punch, I realized to get my attention, so she could apologise for the bump.

I go back to what I'm doing...

And all of sudden, there's her hand on my bag. Ithink: "WTF?!?"

One of the primo rules in the Big City for dealing with this kind of mishugas is to ignore it so that maybe it goes a away.

"Hold it," she says. I do, it seems benign enough.

Soon, we're approaching GCT. I get up a little early, in part to get a little distance.

In fact, it's just a little but not enough.

As the train makes the curve towards the Grand Central platform, I feel a little kick in my foot.

I look at her, she's looking at me.

The kick was her little way of saying bye-bye.

And P.S .: this incident was nowhere near the worst part of the afternoon and evening -- but that's another story (and having lived it, it is of absolutely no entertainment value).

And P.-P.S.: There's a reason this happened: C.P. had clearly put a New Orleans Southern swamp girl hex on me that morning....

Welcome, Natives and Tourists!

What this is about:

There are 8,000,000 stories in the Naked City that is New York.

The goal is not to catalogue all of them, just the weird and strange and unusual ones, the ones that slip under the radar....